“So what’s it like, this love?”
Mimi Kunz
Artist and poet Mimi Kunz shares her experience of being a young mother, and her moments of marvel, fear, and laughter, a revelation occurs. The body of mother and child are discovered as our first language, our mother tongue.
Dear New Parents,
“So what’s it like, this love?”, a friend asked me a few weeks after my daughter was born. I didn’t know what to say. Becoming a mother made my body a restaurant, a sanctuary, a playground. It made me understand why my own mother wasn’t a pacifist and although I had always considered myself one, I knew that it was no longer true. Now I could be a lioness.
During these first months of motherhood I realised that I have never been watched this closely. Anything I’d do would be seen and mirrored. I certainly didn’t try to teach my daughter a funny “krchh” sound with an odd grimace but apparently I make that sound/face a lot, so it became one of her earliest expressions. I didn’t mean to teach her dancing but while cooking I put her in the bouncy chair so she could watch me make dinner (while dancing, as these were the days of lockdown), and one morning she greeted me wiggling her spine, dancing before she could stand.
I grew up doing dance and dance theatre, and as an artist, body language had long been my theme. I paint by observing universal expressions and unconscious gestures, exploring how we read each other’s bodies. With a newborn, every communication is physical, every connection and interaction happens through the body. For those of us who tend to run a lot in our minds, this can be incredibly soothing and root us in the here and now.
I used to time travel a lot, imagining alternate futures or pasts but since my daughter was born I felt like the past had settled as it led to her, and there was a simple ‘before’ and ‘after’ her birth. Suddenly I’m okay with the passing of time, with life as something that comes and goes. I want to be the one to go after my mum and before my daughter, a chapter in a story of people who might share the memory of a song or the shape of a toe.
What I hadn’t expected was the fear. Horror scenarios playing in my head — movies made by a protective instinct trying to foresee every possibility of danger, and making plans on how to save my baby. These fears are normal, I now know, and when they come I need to distract myself in the same way in which I distract my daughter when she’s upset.
To all the new mums and dads out there — Congratulations! I hope you find moments to take in the wonder, enjoy the hugs and laughs, can let go of the fears and the mess, and be a loving parent to yourself in this adventurous time.
Mimi Kunz
Author of the book ‘Mother Tongue’
Mother Tongue is a book of poetry and painting by Mimi Kunz, published November 2024 (The Kyoudai Press)
In Mother Tongue, Mimi Kunz tells the story of her daughter’s birth and first year of life. Through
her poetry and painting, she meditates on the question “So what’s it like, this love?” As she shares
her experience of being a young mother, and her moments of marvel, fear, and laughter, a
revelation occurs. The body of mother and child are discovered as our first language, our mother
tongue.
The book is available at Librebook, Peinture Fraiche, Maison CFC and online on mimikunz.com
Such a beautiful book - a lovely gift for any new parent!
photo credit: Alexandra Huddleston, The Kyoudai Press
Why not write your own ‘Dear New Parents’ letter? It would be lovely to have a string of such letters sharing the ups and downs of the transition into parenthood on the site, especially from the point of view of an expat in Belgium.
